I've been a person that yelled in the past. I kinda thought it was what a parent did. Whelp! I had had enough of my bad self. (See what I did there? I used cool bad as the real bad...whatever. It was funny to me. 😂😂) I didn't want to leave my children with memories of yells! Or for them to think it is how you do this parenting thing. Like seriously!? A louder voice makes everyone motivated?
Things are different now. I'm not perfect by any means. I get frustrated and slip. But now my kids are shocked by me raising my voice. My five year old cries and asks why I'm being mean. It's so abnormal for him! lol!
I saw their faces one day. Truly saw what my attitude did to them. I also put myself in their place. How would I feel? I couldn't handle it! So I started asking deep heart questions of why I yell. Is this helping my goal of connection and relationship with my children? I don't want be raising children that don't want to come home for the holidays. 😢
After asking questions I see something profound. It's was all fear. Fear of failure (for them and me), fear of not getting everything done, fear of man ( what will others think), fear of them ganging up on me....just kidding! Or am I? 😂😂
I'm not afraid anymore. I love. I ask God for love. Wisdom. And more love. We love broken without Jesus. I want to love whole. Love myself. Love my family. I was missing the best parts of my kids lives! They hid their hearts from me. That's awful! And something I never wanted. Thank God he showed me before it was too late.
I'm not afraid anymore.
Oh and I also tell them when the day is getting to be too much or I don't feel so good. Or when I need help. Surprise! They actually want to help me. They're good kids. 😍
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